‘Biologically connected friends’
Guidelines governing communication between donor and recipient are stringent and designed to protect both parties’ privacy while allowing enough time to pass to determine whether the donation was successful. Germany keeps identities anonymous for two years but allows donors and recipients to communicate via messages that don’t share any personal information after a year has elapsed since the donation.
Rüecker received a letter from Hurst soon after that period of time had elapsed.
“It was great to hear he was happy and doing well and that my stem cells were feeling good in his body,” said Rüecker, who wrote back quickly with a letter of her own. She signed it, “Your biologically connected friend."
They corresponded regularly until March 6, 2023, when Rüecker’s donor organization told her the two years were up. If her recipient wanted to reach out, it was fine by them. By that afternoon, Hurst had emailed her from his home 5,000 miles away in Seattle. He’d had O+ blood before he got Rüecker’s stem cells, but now he was A+ just like her. He now had more genetically in common with Rüecker than he did with anyone in the world; he had even inherited her allergies along with her stem cells. She was simultaneously a complete stranger and like the closest of family members. Hurst had to meet her.
He emailed: What did she think about Hurst and his wife coming to Germany?
Four months later, in July, Rüecker, her mom, her sister and her niece met Hurst and his wife, Kim, at the airport. Hurst cried. Rüecker embraced him. “We hugged each other like it was someone you’ve known for years,” she said.
She took Hurst sightseeing in Frankfurt and threw a party for him in her backyard, inviting her family and neighbors. She lined the perimeter with flags, half German, half American. In the middle was an interlaced German-American flag. Hurst said there was so much food — cheese, pretzels, sausages — that it felt like a wedding. “Everyone came to get to know me and celebrate what Selina had done," he said.
Now back in Seattle, Hurst emails back and forth with Rüecker regularly, when something special happens or just to ask how she’s doing, and they regularly exchange photos. Next year, Rüecker and her boyfriend hope to visit Hurst on his home turf; they’re planning a trip to Seattle, where Hurst will treat Rüecker like the royalty she is. “What’s really cool about Selina is if you Google ‘Be the Match' in Germany, she’s the poster child,” he said. “She’s actually on the brochures.
“The gift of bonus time is so sweet, especially with this new friend in my life,” said Hurst.
The Be the Match registry is always seeking donors. If you’re interested in joining the registry or learning more, visit bethematch.org.